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Why Am I a Dominatrix?


Lady Ava in black latex, sitting on a medical chair at Brighton Dungeon.
Lady Ava in Brighton Dungeon.

I've had many vocations in My life; senior office manager, festival organiser, and author to name a few. Yet nothing stirs My enthusiasm and thirst for knowledge and deepening human relationships in the way that the D/s (Dominant/submissive) dynamic does.


So why exactly am I a south coast Dominatrix with clients both in Brighton and London? Why have I, a degree graduate, corporate professional, qualified therapist and writer, landed and stayed upon a profession in kink and sexuality? Let's unwrap the reasons I adore My work in this industry - some may surprise you! - and why I can't visualise My life in any other way.


The Inner Circle and Sanctum of Secrets

I am, essentially, an introvert. My very public persona is carefully curated for the purposes of marketing, otherwise I am an intensely private person which means I am an excellent purveyor of secrets!


I have always been drawn to secrecy, a knowing in joke between two close people, a private moment shared by a limited group never to be known by others. I love the trust and bonding that a tacit encounter creates, and heady, delicious acts that are undertaken in dark spaces. I am a deep and thoughtful Woman who has no desire for chit chat, but would rather delve with immediacy straight past the small talk and into the deep abyss of the psyche, where true personalities are kept.


When a gentleman visits me for a session (My personal preference is to only work with submissive male clients) and it's just he and I, I will already know the core details from our consultation. This means I am ready to go deep! I work quickly to facilitate a world of fantasy which allows the mind and body to be entirely present, and leaves the mundane world outside.


Whilst I session in various locations including country estates, private residencies and hotels, there is an added layer of atmosphere and intrigue, an added effect of escapism, and the dramatic notion of entering an entirely unique realm that only the aesthetic of a dungeon can provide. Hence the latter is my preferred space to work from. My lair!


Kink as a Therapeutic Practice


Within these confines, all humanity, perception of time and daily drudgeries cease to exist. The intense knowing of this opens doors to imaginations and unlocks the subconscious desire. The conformative mask is safely removed, freeing the concupiscent alter ego that yearns to be seen. I am then in a space, seeing this uninhibited human in their most vulnerable but entirely volunteered state, and for some it may well be their first time. The power and responsibility I have in that moment of unmasking is addictive! It's an incomparable level of control if you are to run it alongside any vanilla alternative. Although it does need to be said that, as sadistic as My tendencies can be, I never abuse My power and always work within total given consent.


The Juxtoposition of Kindness and Cruelty


Horror movies exist because our psyches contain dark thoughts which do not cease to exist simply because we we choose not to act upon them, or try to block them from our minds. Rather, movies of a dark, twisted and graphic nature provide satiation for unwanted thoughts and a fantasy platform for them to play out, ease off and dissipate. A haven even, for these thoughts to reside in.


I am, I believe, someone with a sound moral compass. My political leanings are towards what I believe most fair for all of society to benefit without hierarchy rather than personal gain. I am kind, loyal and radiant with integrity! What were you expecting? Ha!


With such a love for others, for nature, for animals and for all such angelic lightnesses of mind, what comes next? You guessed it! All whom are balanced, ethical and responsible in this world are two sides of the same coin. Sadism. Physical and mental cruelty. I crave to exorcise these. After all, is this not why rage rooms and extreme sports exist? The release of rage? The masochistic thirst for pain? Yet even these such outlets pale in comparison with the consensual allowance, gifted to you from another to unleashing your inner most cruelness on them. Indeed, a gift that permits me to materialise my most sadistic of fantasies.


The Power Exchange


Ah, the delicious construct of the D/s dynamic! Not tacit compliance like that of mother and child. Not societal expectation like boss and employee. Not even the brutality between military ranks. No, this is a voluntary sacrifice of one's autonomy, in the chosen favour of servitude. With the added hedonistic pleasure that it's a paid for service! let us not ignore that receiving money is an ultimate kink in itself! I simply adore asserting power and witnessing My prospects become a mere slave to it!


From Patriarchy to Matriarchy


I am a proud feminist, by it's original definition, that is I prescribe to equal rights. I have no time for extremism nor those that promote such a damaging narrative. Those people do not serve what is best for women, they are antagonists with a poorly thought out agenda. They are indeed an insult to our suffragette history. Being a Dominatrix sets me up nicely in the unique position that I am untarnished by the patriarchy, and rather, I am exploiting it! I provide a high ticket, luxury service afforded only to gents who have the fiscal means. Do I delight in taking an abundance of cash from rich men? Oh you better believe it! Nay, do they in turn crave a solution to the ennui they feel as the - often white, middle aged - priviliged man without challenges? Absolutely. It's a two way win leaning heavily in My favour. The physical act of receiving large wads of cash is always exciting, as I feel responsible for the ethical redistribution of wealth. The first time a significant pile was placed into My hands was in 2015 and you never forget your first time. I took it home, placed it on My kitchen worktop, spread it out and just stared at it for a long while! I did that! I mused to Myself how I had successfully contributed to the redistribution of wealth! My work is a tribute to those who campaign tirelessly to close the gender pay gap!


A Creative Kinky Playground


No two sessions are the same, and with each new session I am curator, movie director, storyteller and fetish producer! My work is an abundance of opportunity for creativity and playfulness, and that ignites so much excitement in Me, why would I ever wish to do anything else?


Exploring Kinks and Fetishes


You were no doubt hoping for some salubrious tales from the dungeon and to know exactly what goes on inside the walls in a session with Me? What kinks do I enjoy the most and which do I tend to avoid. Alas, these are topics for another time. Subscribe to My website to stay notified when I release the next instalment: What happens in a Session.


Curious submissives: Devote yourself to Me and book your session here.

Curious Ladies: Discover your inner goddess and join My Domme training workshop here.

1 Comment


Ken Dick
Ken Dick
5 days ago

Thank You for sharing such an insightful read Lady Ava.

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